ANyone's who's been round this blog for a bit knows I'm finding it damn near impossible to get back into a routine.

It's hard enough for me normally to keep going because THINGS GET IN THE WAY. I've tried many ways of getting round these THINGS and about 70-80% of the time I'm successful, but with the events of the last 6 months, even though they are behind me these THINGS are even more crippling.

I seem to have developed a stalker. Now it's not a bad thing, indeed I gave birth to this stalker. I love this stalker with all my heart.

However - he won't let me out of his damn sight. He's off school right now and he leaves in a few weeks, so I'm getting a snapshot of the next few months till college starts and I don't like it.

My house is a mess. I can't keep on top of it because he's constantly there, re-messing it. even when i've got him to tidy up, it's messy again within five minutes. so I'm going on all day about what I want tidied up. Banning him off the PS3 works, so he gets back and then we're back at square one again.

he's off and on that PS3 like it's a yo-yo. He's somehow got the impression that he'll be sitting playing games all day while I'm at work. He can get a job (which he shows no inclination of doing, despite the fact he's an ideal age for it) or he's doing my housework to my specifications or it'll be Take Your Router To Work Day, every day. he can parasite off someone else if he doesn't like it.

That's not the worst of it though. I cannot turn for him. he's constantly around. I go to workout in my room in the morning and he's bloody there. I go to clean the bathroom and he's there, taking root on the throne, leaving his crap strewn behind him, so I have to run through the whole damn, "CLEAN UP YOUR SHIT!" again.

I workout in my room or try to and he's bloody there telling me some fucking gibberish about some bollocks that happened on PSN or youtube or whatever. AND THIS CAN'T WAIT? I'M ONLY GOING TO BE 20 MINS!

So that's my flow ruined or in several cases that's a muscle pulled, specially during yoga.

I've blocked the door off, thrown him out the room, which always leads to the ever entertaining Teenage Meltdown. "You don't love me! Why did you have me! You only had me to shout at me!"

I go out for a walk and HE FUCKING COMES WITH ME. Then I get more psn gibberish or he moans that we're out for a walk and can't we phone Dad to come and get us., Er no we can't, but it ruins it for me. Yeah, I win, but what do i win?

I want to go out for a cycle. Stewart wants to come. But he's scared of the road and the traffic, so cycling for him is out of the question, so it turns into a walk. Which limits where we're going and leads to whines of "I'm tired!"

I know it's lovely to spend time with him (or theoretically) and I know growing up is scary, but it's not like I'm throwing him out at 16 into the big horrible world. I just think that as someone who'll be 16 next month (which is a big deal in the UK), he needs to take on some adult responsibilities.

Everywhere's got rules and responsibilities, every house is its own little country, it's like a lesson for wider society for teens. You have to pull your weight in the world. I'm not saying everyday should be a toil at the pitface, but doing the things which are asked of you and realising that it's not all about you, that someone close to you saying "THis is me time" is not a personal rejection.

That keeping the place relatively clean and tidy is good for physical health and mental wellbeing and means we can get much more use out of my small space and I'm not ashamed to have workies in or his mates in. I don't care how he keeps his house, but this is my house. His home, certainly, but MY HOUSE and i like it a certain way.

I guess I'm saying I wish he'd grow up, just a little.

Before i set my hair on fire or run round the street naked. I haven't reached my goal weight yet

From: [identity profile]

I feel smothered and exhausted just reading this, so I can somewhat imagine the hell it would be living it. :(

Have you tried, in a rare moment when he's not actually 'haunting' you, telling him that you need some time to yourself?

I think him getting a job would be an excellent idea. Part of his nervousness is probably the idea of the overwhelming outside world and its responsibilities. But... getting a job would help him learn what all that's about, and that would help his confidence.

While he's not yet in college is an ideal time, really-- one major life change at a time.

Gads, how frustrating.

From: [identity profile]

I even said to him today "don't you ever need time by yourself?"

And he's all "no" like i'd just asked him if he'd like to wear a pink dress.

I need to find him a job.

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